Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
