Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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