hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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