I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
