i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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