I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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