My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
