I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
