idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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