Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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