I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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