So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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