Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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