Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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