your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
