I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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