should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
