god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
