MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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