Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
