speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
