1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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