I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
false alarm. still invincible.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
