what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
