He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
