I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
