is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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