Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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