we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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