p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
