He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
