I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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