Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
