Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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