And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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