She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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