maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
