They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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