She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
