all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
