She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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