is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
