if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
