so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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