You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
