my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize