Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
