it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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