dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
