i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
