grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
