ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
